Warne retires

Hold on, this is not an older post. Shane Warne, the champion text-star who also happens to be a spin legend, has quit first class cricket. The Hampshire captain, who would captain and coach Rajasthan Royals in the Indian Premier League (IPL) has snapped his ties with Hampshire.

Dimitri Mascarenhas will take over as the new Hampshire captain.

Meanwhile, with Warne quitting cricket – come on IPL is after all just another romp for him – Doosra finds it an ethical duty to issue an advisory.

Doosra fears now that Warne is through with cricket, there is an urgent need for the British nurses, especially the plump ones, to keep their cell numbers frequently changing in order to avoid getting lewd SMS from a certain number.

Enough time at his disposal, Warne is expected to make the optimum use of his mobile phones and his daily SMS output, it is feared, far exceeds his wicket tally. The leggie with a liking for leggies is expected to hit back with a vengeance, especially after every effort to forge a new partnership with former wife Simone fell flat on its face.

For someone who considered text and Test equally important, Warne is simply irrepressible and young British women would ignore this advisory at their peril. God save them.

Cartoon: Peter Nicholson of The Australian (Instead of Warne's right arm, it could have been his mobile phone as well)

Warne punished for misbehaviour

Old habits die hard. Shane Warne may have quit international cricket but the old, wily fox remains the same intense fighter. He still wants to stay there and deliver the good for the team.

In Hampshire’s Championship match against Kent last week, Warne was not happy when umpire Tim Robinson upheld Ryan McLaren’s appeal. The leg before decision naturally did not amuse Warne, the Hampshire captain, who stood his ground for a few seconds and then gave Robinson the kind of petrifying stare. And that was not the end of it. As soon as he entered the pavilion, Warne let loose an audible obscenity.

Accordingly, he was fined six points under ECB's disciplinary code and he would be automatically suspended of he accumulates nine points or more.