Champions League Googly

1. Which two players are playing for wrong CL teams?
Answer: Jon Holland and Bhuvneshwar Kumar.

2. What is common to Dwayne Bravo and Howrah Bridge?
Answer: Both have Ganga under them. First in T&T lineup and the second in Kolkata.

3. Why Andrew Puttick's team won't win Champions League?
Answer: Because, National Geography swears, Cape Cobras thrive only in Southern Africa.

4. Why most T&T batsmen feel like islands in the dressing room?
Answer: Because they are surrounded by Ganga. And not just one but two!

5. Of all the articles written about them, which one T&T prefers?
Answer: A. Since it makes them AT&T.

6. Why T&T skipper Ganga is exasperated with the Bravo brothers?
Answer: Even when he yells "Bravo" in disgust, the brothers take it as a verbal pat.

7. 'Is' could have been the middle name of which two cricketers?
Answer: Simon Keen (NSW) and Vernon Philander (Cape Cobras).

7 Reasons why India lost Champions Trophy

1. Two overs and a wicket. Let's face it, MS Dhoni underbowled himself;

2. The tackiness of the trophy didn't tinkle Dhoni's sense of aesthetics;

3. Lalit Modi had warned Dhoni & Co of dire consequences if they overdid things in Champions Trophy and picked up injuries that would jeopardise their Champions League participation;

4. The sight of IPL teammates in rival camps left Dhoni's men with the same dilemma that had crippled Arjuna in Kurukshetra. Alas, there was no Krishna to talk the Indians out of their predicament;

5. Virat Kohli's batting isn't as formidable as his visa office contacts which make him an obvious substitute whenever a teammate twists ankle or hurts groin;

6. Continuing with the Kohli factor, he replaced Gautam Gambhir (now vice captain) in Sri Lanka and Yuvraj Singh (original vice captain) in South Africa. At this rate, he would replace Dhoni against Australia and this very threat perception explains Dhoni's dud bat in South Africa;

7. Finally, Gary Kirsten may believe otherwise but compulsory reading of abridged Kama Sutra is not among the 100 Ways To Win A Cricket Tournament.