7 Nightmares Of A Bengali Bhadralok

1. November 1. Deserted place. Man at dimly-lit lone woollen garment shop whispers: “We don’t sell monkey cap.”

2. Reaching Antarctica and finding there is no Dada-Boudi/Annapurna Hotel serving Bhapa Ilish. Or at least fresh Parshe fish;

3. Pharmacies selling no Gelusil;

4. Braving bullets, dodging landmines and surviving nuclear explosion only to find himself in a situation, for which there is no suitable Rabindrasangeet capturing the complex state of his mind;

5. FSSAI banning Marie biscuit, declaring only rusk can be dunked in morning tea;

6. A worker in a Havana suburb committing suicide and only 2,613 people turning up at Brigade Parade Ground to mourn it;

7. Fearing there are too many of them and they might join hands one day to demand separate nationhood, Government of India decides Bong parents can’t nickname their kids “Bappa” and “Maamon” anymore.