Wednesday, 5 February 2014

7 Possible Reasons Why England Axed Pietersen

It cannot be just a coincidence that England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) decided to get rid of Kevin Pietersen in the same week that saw Azam Khan’s buffalos disappear and reappear under mysterious circumstances.

Neither Azam Khan nor ECB could offer convincing reasons behind the extraordinary circumstances that led to the disappearance/sacking of the sacred cows.

While Doosra cannot pinpoint the exact reasons behind Pietersen’s shock sacking, here are seven possibilities that may have forced ECB’s hand:

1. KP was caught red-handed stealing Alastair Cook's mascara;

2. KP's exciting shot-making was proving a bad influence on the impressionable young minds in a country determined to practise and perfect a brand of batsmanship that can cure insomnia;

3. KP was found to have replaced Andy Flower's shampoo with a mild pesticide and when caught, offered this bizarre explanation: "This is a standard horticulture remedy for any pest-ridden Flower."

4. His IPL earning was embarrassing UK's GDP;

5. KP was a divisive figure even at the breakfast table. While others asked for bacon and egg, he insisted on egg and bacon. It only proves KP never really embraced English culture;

6. KP winning matches single-handedly was a blatant act of defiance and gross violation of what is essentially a team game invented by the British;

7. KP often behaved as if he were KP.

(Pix)

9 comments:

ekita said...

Please teach me brilliant's thesaurus..

Really loved it...satire at its best.. :-)

Som said...

@Ekita, grateful for those kind words :)

Romika Limbu said...
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Vanpersi Pradhan said...
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onlineflowersbangalore said...
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Discovery of the self said...

why all those comments (above) have been removed?