Monday, 19 March 2012

Why Rahul Dravid Is Likely To Come Out Of Retirement

If you are Shahid Afridi, your idea of a perfect week goes probably something like this:

Monday: Sulking.
Tuesday: Threatening to retire.
Wednesday: Retiring.
Thursday: Hinting a comeback.
Friday: Negotiating comeback.
Saturday: Announcing comeback.
Sunday: Sulking.

But then Rahul Dravid is no Afridi despite their obvious similarity in the sense both are like poles. Dravid north and Afridi south.

So when Dravid retired, you naturally thought he was gone for good.

Doosra, however, has reasons to believe Dravid will do an Afridi and come out of his retirement.

The following conversation between The Wall and his Wife (what do you call a wall's wife? Firewall?) explains why.

Wife: There you are. Why did it take so long to get the boys from school?

RD: Well...I mean...I sort of missed the school bus.

Wife: Home come you missed such a distinct-looking bus?

RD: Err...I mean from where I stood, the bus looked quite outside the off-stump. So...I...sort of...let it go.

Wife: What! Have you lost your mind? OK, from now on you’d pick the boys from school itself.

RD: Sorry, I’m not going to that school again. Those infernal kids! One of them wrote something on my back. "Uncle, do you see what I wrote on your back?" I said "no". He said "Too bad you can't see the writing on the wall."

Wife: What!

RD: You heard it. That nickname has become my albatross. One of those little devils went further and said "Uncle, I lost my pet dog. Can I stick a bill on your back, please?"

Wife: What!

RD: And they call my son half-wall!

Wife: Good lord! What do you do now? Can’t take you to shopping either after that fight with the shopkeeper.

RD: As if that was my fault! It rained for a while and I was perfectly within the laws to ask him to revise the price under Duckworth-Lewis method.

Wife: And who started the fight in the furniture shop? You drilled 19 divans with that car key!

RD: See, I was just testing the bounce.

Wife: Bounce my foot! Gawd, don’t know what to do with you. You are no good at julienning tomatoes or dicing a cucumber, so not much of a help in the kitchen either.

RD: See I spent my career building a sound technique, largely avoiding risky cuts and slices.

Wife: You drive me crazy. You can’t polish your own shoe – you apply saliva and rub it against your trousers; you crouch and spit on your hand before you catch a flight; you refuse to go to market after tea, insisting on sending a nightwatchman; you criticise me for not having a proper follow through while ironing. I’m tired of it.

RD: So am I.

Wife: Well, get it in your head. This can’t go on. You are going back to playing cricket. You got it?

RD: I guess you have a point there, a silly point.

65 comments:

mona parthsarathi said...

amlan is back with the bang. very nice

Darshan said...

Ha ha ha..very hilarious article..must read for everyone..especially the shopping incident is very funny..!!

Som said...

Mona, happy you liked it :)

Som said...

Darshan, kind words. Regular darshans at Doosra will be appreciated :)

Satrajit said...

HAHAHAHA! You and Rahul Dravid are quiteb similar... both of u are poles apart in ur thoughts!

Take a bow sire!

AU said...

Good fun... can imagine a smile on even RD's face if he gets to read this :P love the better half being 'firewall' bit!

Govind Raj said...

Back to form Som. This one definitely went a long way; the other way. Might add, to north pole !

R Niranjan Das said...

That was awesome. Well written. :)

http://rajniranjandas.blogspot.in/2012/03/smile-please.html

Som said...

Satrajit, glad you liked :)

Som said...

AU, welcome to Doosra. Btw, got a short memory, so keep coming :)

Som said...

Govind, generosity is your middle name :)

Som said...

RND, many thanks :)

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Tituraj said...

Amlan da, this is brilliant.

Som said...

Tituraj, welcome to Doosra. Keep coming :)

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Pratik said...

tremendous. unthinkable. u should bring out a book with these posts.

Som said...

:) Pratik

shri said...

awesome.....really liked the way u wrote......

Som said...

Shri, thanks and welcome :)

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suvi said...

i am waiting for you article when sachin retires..lets hope you will make some fun on the other legend too..

Som said...

Suvi, nol doubt good intentions on your part but I have this sneaking suspicion that my retirement from blogging might precede Tendulkar's from cricket :)

Dr. Vasudev Reddy Ravula said...

Rahul should serve India and not cricket any more. Join politics like kirthi Azad, Chetan Chauhan and Siddhu.

Som said...

Dear Dr, that's a recipe for disaster! Politics was never in more need of dignified individuals like Rahul but I'm afraid he'd either retire hurt with frustration or would be consumed by it.

On a more serious note, welcome to Doosra :)

1111111111111111 said...

i think rahul should coach a cricket team...if not india he can make a try on bangladesh or ireland, to improve the standards of the game

Som said...

Multiple 1s... will try to convey this messaage to RD :)

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Cricket Life Forum said...

ha ha ha very nice.....

Som said...

CLF, thanks and welcome to Doosra,

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v r waiting 4 smthng new...smthing on IPL :) thank u

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11111111.....many thanks. Bogged down with something boring. Till resume full-fledge blogging, enjoy the IPL Random Thoughts. :)

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really??? is this or was this just a simple rumor?? or did Rahul Dravid actually come out of retirement??? I think it would be a really bad decision

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Sudarshan said...

Hi Som,

Superb stuff. Hilarious. Even Dravid would laugh off when he reads this.

I am Sudarshan, a panelist of “Behind The Wall”(BTW), a project being done by Dravid fans. It’s a book on Dravid from fan’s perspective. It will contain fans feelings n opinions put through articles, poems and sketches. It will also have some guest interviews from some of the stalwarts in the cricketing world. I loved your article and I think it will bring a smile on his face when he reads it. With your permission we would really like to include it in the book.

(We took permission from the man himself to write the book.)

Please send your article to rktwall@gmail.com (official id ). To know more about the project or for further communication, you can contact me through sudarshan.annadanam@gmail.com (or through our official id).

Thank you,
Awaiting your reply,

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Panelist, Behind the Wall.

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Shreerup Rudra said...

Khi khi khi khi :-D