Sunday, 17 April 2011

A Cricket Folktale...Circa 4500 A.D.

Once upton a time, there was a tiny country called Sa-china, inhabited by people called Sa-chinese. A neighbouring Vinod-erland was initially more prosperous before its economy nosedived.

In Sa-china, kids had curly hair, while grown up men practised with harmonium to develop sing-song voice. And they made it a point to marry older girls.

There, anyone taller than 5'5" was sneered at and people opted for euthanasia at 99 since a century often augured disaster for the country.

Most boys went by the names of Himesh, Pritam, Bappi, Annu, Shankar, Ehsan, Loy, Ismail etc because it was manadatory to name kids after music directors.

There, people dialled to say "Aila" and not "Hello". Even the neighbourhood fishmongers accepted a certain credit card and if a customer offered cash, s/he would be admonished: "Visa power, go get it."

There were some schools but no college or university in the country because people were convinced of education's futility.

In fact parents used to garland their kid the day they dropped out of schools, which was generally believed to mark the beginning of their journey to glory.

The country had only mud houses because stones were not available. Whenever they saw a stone, they turned it into a milestone, as their Father of the Nation had once advised them.

There, people used to eat out at Mainland Sa-china, where Sa-chinese dishes were served.

Aged people suffered mainly from tennis elbow and they worked as long as they wished. Retirement talks were not encouraged at all...

38 comments:

Govind Raj said...

And the main religion of the country was Sa-chinism ! Right ?

Som said...

Govind, historical evidences suggest cricket was the religion and the god was 5'5".

Crownish said...

hehehe,and the prayer went 'Jiyo Khiladi Wahe Wahe!'?

Som said...

Crownish, sadly no audio tape could be recovered. but indeed, there was something like that inscribed in what appeared remnant of a stadium wall:)

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Poonam said...

excellent!!!

Som said...

Thank you ma'm :)

Christopher Poshin David said...

Good one mate! Never can get enough of Sehwagology or Sachinism....

Som said...

CPD, thanks. Btw, do I see you with the Miandad-kicker?

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Sidthegnomenator said...

That's brilliant - I love it! I think Sa-chinism might already be a religion though, Govind.

Anorak said...

And kids right after their birth in Sa-china were feed not on mother milk but on 'boost'.

Also, Sa-chinese were bestowed with titles such as 'champion', icon, and 'masterblaster' and 'mastreo' when they consistently performed in their job... :P

Som said...

Sid, I'm an atheist!

Som said...

Anorak, none of the boys made good leader though :)

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