Saturday, 14 August 2010

7 punishments for Dhoni & Co for NZ flop show

BCCI sees only the Sunny side but never the funny side of it. So what if New Zealand plastered India by 200 runs?

That doesn't mean you cancel the home trip you had promised the players who have spent enough time in Lanka to be eligible for a citizenship there.

It was not just a low trick on the players but quite unimaginative too. Doosra suggests 7 alternative ways BCCI could have punished the players:

1. Make the whole team row its way back from Sri Lanka;

2. A favourite theme with Doosra. Ask them to write the full name of Welegedara on the grain of rice. To be fair, give them a choice between Uda Walawwe Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanka Welegedara and Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas.

3. Ask Yuvraj to share room with Suresh Raina before a Test series and come out in the morning without any culpable homicide charges against his name; alternatively ask him to report after three weeks without a bar brawl; or spend 15 minutes on the field without inviting frenzied chants from the spectators;

4. Thrust a shaving razor in Praveen Kumar’s hand and ask him to turn up clean-shaven for a match;

5. Make Ashish Nehra play a full Test with no ambulance facility within 10km of the stadium;

6. Let MS Dhoni bat with Nehra as his runner;

7. Ask Ishant Sharma to bowl with Nehra fielding at point.

24 comments:

vmminerva said...

Cracker again, Som.
On #2, Vaas wins hands down for me.

Jokes apart, I wasn't too upset abt the loss to NZ, primarily because I knew these batsmen couldn't do it. After Sehwag and Karthik got out, we lost the remaining wickets for less than 50 runs! No application or temperment. "No"-hit Sharma, "Never fit" Yuvraj, etc need the ouster. We need to try Sourab Tiwary, use more of Kohli, and please, where is Pujara?

sunny said...

Hi there,

Bloody hilarious stuff here, Som.
Maybe the BCCI could ban the Indian youngsters from playing the IPL this year, would be some hard kind of punishment. ;)
Blogrolling this place right now!

Cheerio!

straight point said...

why not just ask them to follow on in that case...? ;D

Som said...

VM, great to see you active again. How have you been?

Som said...

Sunny, welcome, blogrolling you as well :)

Som said...

SP, a good idea indeed :)

Govind Raj said...

What a relief Som to see you back !

I was about write a post...

7 Reasons for Doosra absconding !

Now that you are back, I post it here instead !

1] Doosra in mourning after the greatest exponent of 'Doosra' retired !

2] Being a Common Man in Delhi, Doosra was caught in the Commonwealth logjam !

3] Afridi had kidnapped Doosra, made an 'AwSom' tribal dish "TanDoosra Fry" and served it to Salman Butt !

4] Doosra injured in one of Mamta's trains to Bengal. They are rarely on tracks these days !

5] Doosra went to watch India - Sri Lanka second test and fell asleep in the empty stadium that was subsequently locked by bowlers.

6] Doosra decided to 'Retire for the time being' since Mohammad Yousuf decided to come out of retirement for the time being !

7] Doosra went to BCCI HQ and fell under the mass of papers submitted by Lalit Modi in reply to the BCCI show-cause notice. Nobody has noticed this because nobody dared yet to open it !

Thank Goodness, none of these happened !
:-)

Som said...

Govind, if there comes a day when I have to leave this blog to someone who can keep tickling the funny bone, it has got to be you:)

For professional reasons, I may have to discontinue the blog. It's such an unnerving thought that it has been a struggle to write a post. Things will be clear this week and I pray I can continue.

vmminerva said...

Thanks for the kind words, Som. It's been busy in many ways, and frustrating in some, but am doing ok. And it's good to be back.

vmminerva said...

Som, just saw your commnt. Hope you can get your professional stuff sorted out. Very much hope that you can continue blogging here.

Som said...

VM, great to hear from you. It's same with all of us, more lows than highs but key, I guess, is to stay afloat. And yes, I'm hopeful of a positive outcome about continuing blogging.

Govind Raj said...

Oh Som, Need some help...

I can come up with 7 suggestions how to continue blogging in spite of professional issues !

Joking Yaar !!!

Me too going through a personal low, in spite of doing decently on professional count.

But I am confident Bhidu you will be fine and will keep Doosra rocking !

Sab Theek Ho Jayega ! :-)

Som said...

Govind, fingers and toes crossed. Would take a surgery to untangle them :)

Govind Raj said...

Som,

When you're in this kind of trouble, just remember I am a Doctor and have pretty good contacts with the Surgical world :-)

Som said...

Govind, I have stopped eating apple solely because I can't afford to keep the Doc away :)

Hayley said...

Hi

I work with the Barmy Army and follow your blog. Another hilarious blog Som, I'd go for number 1 personally!

However, if you are planning ahead to the Ashes then you only have 13 DAYS LEFT to win an amazing Barmy Army Experience of a lifetime at the Ashes in Australia this winter!!! Click here to enter NOW!!!! http://tiny.cc/ev7om

Som said...

Hayley, wish my office allowed me. Hope some of the fans from India can grab the opportunity. Thanks for popping :)

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Cracker again, Som. On #2, Vaas wins hands down for me. Jokes apart, I wasn't too upset abt the loss to NZ, primarily because I knew these batsmen couldn't do it. After Sehwag and Karthik got out, we lost the remaining wickets for less than 50 runs! No application or temperment. "No"-hit Sharma, "Never fit" Yuvraj, etc need the ouster. We need to try Sourab Tiwary, use more of Kohli, and please, where is Pujara?

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That doesn't mean you cancel the home trip you had promised the players who have spent enough time in Lanka to be eligible for a citizenship there.

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