Wednesday, 26 November 2008

7 ways to avoid a 7-0 whitewash!

1. Mortgage the WAG brigade to Allen Stanford;
2. Pray that during one of those Great Indian Huddles, earth splits and gobbles up the gang;
3. Hope ISRO packs off Yuvraj in Chandrayaan II, its first manned mission in moon;
4. Deals delight Lalit Modi. So hatch a deal with BCCI’s Mint in Suit and make India do mirror-batting in the next three matches;
5. Pull out of the tour, in an IMMEDIATE protest to the Indian government’s 1989 decision to confer the Nehru award on Robert Mugabe;
6. Fly home by the first flight available and call up BCCI to let them know that the travel agent bungled everything and packed them in the wrong plane;

...and if all these sound far-fetched...

7. Win at least one match, you morons.

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Som,

If winning even looks far fetched....these morons can try and go for a tie.

Straight Point said...

or start blaming bcci for not trying hard enough to get them on roll for IPL...

Som said...

Anonymous, I think we need to bring the Poms under reservation umbrella and give them a 20 runs/two wickets benefit before the start of a match,

Som said...

SP, Flintoff, of all people, has already started singing that tune. I mean he didn't blame BCCI but is already whining that if denied IPL deals, Poms would never learn to win in India. We are yet to hear a flimsier excuse.

Straight Point said...

yes som...my comment was just an extension of that... :)

i seriously believed that KP will bring in some much needed zest for ODIs for england...bt they all see so much disinterested...as before...

last match was perfect example...with series on line they opend with bell...and then sent collingwood instead of hitters like prior or broad...who could have slogged better...

Som said...

SP I doubt KP owes some money to Prior, else how can you justify persisting with him? Here is a keeper who has cut a terribly sorry figure both behind and in front of the wicket. Boycott's mum would have done a better job any day.

Anonymous said...

Som, for the current series, a reservation umbrella of 20 runs and two wickets won't really work..Rather a reservation of 1 up in the series would have helped the Poms .....

Som said...

Anonymous, I don't really see KP appreciating your sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

no worries Som..... until and unless Dhoni doesn't complain..am fine with KP's rage on me

Som said...

Anonymous, Dhoni would be definitely amused, that much I can assure.

Soulberry said...

Some of them look distinct possibilities Som.

Anonymous said...

So see Som, my sarcasm is at last helping KP to pile on the runs today.

BTW do u really want England to avoid a whitewash???

SrinivasaraoVundavalli said...

England have not shown the enthusiasm to win the matches in this series...perfect example is not appealing for Sehwag's run out in the last match... I think they can't avoid whitewash...

Megha said...

good stuff Som :)

I my head I have already outlined a post with a 7-0 whitewash headline...too much optimism?

Som said...

Soulberry, don't tell me!

Som said...

Anony, I really want England to avoid a whitewash. It does not look good, buddy. After all, it took us centuries to build the Great Indian Hospitality reputation. I don't want it tarnished.

Som said...

Srini, welcome aboard. India just had a mini collapse but still they may find it difficult to avert another win. Poor Poms.

Som said...

Megha, welcome to Doosra. A 7-0 whitewash is not really too much optimism. In fact it's no optimism but only pragmatism.

Q said...

at the moment, the 1 win seems more far fethced than any of the other 6..

Som said...

Q, spot on. I'm running out of abuses.

Naked Cricket said...

som, eng played this game for kp's 100, another for a flintoff fifty, but all to shame paul.

btw how much does kp despise c'wood - or is this some kinky way to play him into form?

Som said...

I think if Flintoff hits a 20-ball 50/takes 4-45 in Guwahati and C'wood makes run-a-ball 60 in Delhi, the Poms would return home merrily.

Naked Cricket said...

sure som. that and a wicket for harmison @ under 5. Nearly did it today 1 for 50 of 10. And what a wicket everybody will say in unison.

Som said...

NC, I always felt England probably has got the best (print) media but they have got a bunch of morons to wax eloquent. Hype is the end result.

Trideep said...

Som,

Unfortunately the tour has been called off. The attacks in Mumbai sent the Brits back.

Som said...

Trideep, I simply missed this 8th way of avoiding a 7-0 whitewash! It's a whitewash anyway.

Anonymous said...

See Som, the Brits have avoided a 7-0 whitewash. You missed it but probably KP's men did not...

So the Great Indian Hospitality reputation is intact mate..;)

Som said...

Anonymous, you suggesting ECB behind the Mumbai mayhem!

Anonymous said...

Bingo Som......never know!!! Probably that was the best options left for the POMS

Som said...

Anony...whatever, Poms return just like the Oz...tail between legs.

Anonymous said...

Rather their tails were chopped by Mahi and company..... they will surely return with vengeance

Som said...

Anony...sure they'l return?

Quitessential Bartender said...

they pulled out of the tour for the mumbai carnage...

Som said...

QB, welcome. Do you think they would return indeed?

Anonymous said...

Som, me thinks they will return with an already chopped tail only to be ripped off their skins...

What say dude???

Som said...

Anony...reports claim they are returning. Only problem is we would have difficulty recognising them. Flintoff, Harmison, Swann are opting out and James Anderson wants to stay by his prgnant wife. The list is expected to grow by the evening today.

Anonymous said...

Well Som, see I told u they already have their tails chopped... and now with Flintoff, Harmison, Swann and James Anderson out, they are probably left with a skeleton to bet on...... poor Poms.....

Som said...

Anony, I bet England won't mind losing inside 3 days either!

Anonymous said...

Som, they need to play well to survive for three days...

Som said...

Anony, they indeed.