Friday, 4 July 2008

Here is how England remains immune to change

# The Egyptians, at some point of time, used slabs of stones for pillows;

# Sometime in the ‘60s, schools in Tanganyika were closed because of a queer outbreak of contagious laughter that lasted for six months;

# Sometime in the ‘80s, workers in a Las Vegas hospital were suspended for betting on which patient would die first.

So, let’s be honest and admit that stranger things did happen in the past. Taking the mickey out of Geoff Miller and his selectorial colleagues is a trifle rude, so what if England is on the verge of another world record – of picking the same XI for the sixth Test on the trot.

While nitpicking critics call it creative bankruptcy on the selectors’ part, here are 5 reasons why England will field the same XI again, and again and again:

  1. Let me share a scoop. Demanding their share of the Stanford pie, the selectors are actually on an industrial strike, leaving ECB with no other option but to field the same XI, matches after matches, till the deadlock ends. Impressed by his troubleshooting in the Gujjar row, ECB is all set to approach Sri Sri Ravi Shankar to end the stalemate;
  2. Convinced (by Stanford, who else?) that Test cricket is the worst thing to happen to mankind, ECB decided to parade the same XI faces till the crowd is bored to death and stops coming to grounds;
  3. ECB realised creating a sense of belonging and job security are vital to ensure optimum productivity (in strict cricketing sense) from the players. Besides, it also pre-empts supra-cricketing efforts -- like Sidebottom bringing down Grant Elliot -- to cement place in the squad;
  4. Notional infallibility of the fact that players are bound to come good at some point of time, ensuring occasional moments of success;
  5. Finally it upholds selectorial integrity by nixing possibilities of favouritism and nepotism at one stroke.

14 comments:

Straight Point said...

...till flintoff comes to take his throne...was the collective oath...

Som said...

SP, it is as if others are just there to keep the seat warm for King Freddie. High time England got rid of their obsession with Freddie and KP.

D.S. Henry said...

Is it possible that, on the average, this is the best XI England have at the moment? And that no matter who they bring in, it's not going to change the fact that they're just not a very good team at the moment?

Som said...

Henry, could not agree more that no matter who you bring in, they just remain a mediocre outfit with occasional moments of glory. And the hype around Freddie and KP doesn't help either. They better get over the fixation. Constant Freddie hype reminds others that they are in the squad just to keep King Freddie's throne warm before he returns and take over.

Straight Point said...

how our selector are wishing to exchange their job profile with ecb's... :)

Neno Cricket said...

One more politics in the cricket now......

Ravi Shanker Maharaj :)

allpaddedup.com said...

as you mentioned, i rightly agree with the Law of Averages part.

if the selectors keep on using the same XI, they are bound to shine in a match or two after shitty stuff all this while.

vmminerva said...

Bravo! Enjoyed it.

Som said...

SP, isn't it? no hassle and no pressure..Indian media would have torn apart Vengsarkar & co if they had done the same.

Som said...

Neno, welcome to Doosra. Troubleshooters are always in demand, you know because so much of madness going around.

Som said...

Allpaddedup, thanks for seconding my theory. Critics can go and fly a kite.

Som said...

VM, my job is done. For that matter, any take on ECB is bound to be entertaining.

scorpicity said...

nepotism indeed... and highly overrated team... looks like some of them will continue to play until they have massive hernia.

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