Sunday, 15 November 2009

A profane post

It's potentially a fatwa-inviting post. A heresy, a sacrilege beyond redemption. But then someone had to say it I guess.

Just too much of saccharine, this Tendulkar20 business.

Deep inside, the Little Master himself must be embarrassed by the mindless hysteria he finds himself in and around him.

His fawning fans in the media have made such a vulgar song and dance of his 20 years in international cricket that I won't be surprised if he comes up with his own version of Karl Marx’s Thank-God-I'm-Not-A-Marxist renouncement.

When someone like Ravi Shastri advocates blanket imprisonment for every Tendulkar critic, you suspect fascism trying to stage a comeback with cricket as its vehicle.

Raj Thackeray can sleep peacefully. Indian cricket is in safe hands.

Elsewhere, the abysmal chumps in the media are foaming at the mouth, trying to convince us how longevity is the lone hallmark of greatness.

You wonder if they have heard about Wilfred Rhodes who had a 31-year-old international career and there are around 14 others as well who lingered for more than 20 years.

A humbug columnist questioned if any other player had hauled a nation from the depth of its sorrow like Tendulkar did by dedicating a century to the Mumbai terror victims.

While a heart-warming gesture it definitely was, the columnist apparently forgot Don Bradman had lifted the entire Australian spirit from the aftermath of the 'Great Depression'.

To be fair to Tendulkar, it's difficult to imagine him appreciating this sick media rush to usurp the milestone and milk some mileage. For, in this avalanche of feel-good interviews and familiar ego-massaging gibberish, objectivity has been sacrificed at the altar of sycophancy.

No sincere effort to gauge why two decades were not enough to silence claims that he did not win enough matches while the likes of Brian Lara won series on their own.

Reams spent on his 175 in Hyderabad against Australia, and rightly so, but not a single honest question on why he played that ugly, irresponsible shot completely unbecoming of a player of his stature.

Or for that matter, what about that steadfast political correctness, the opaqueness of which never allowed us to know actually what goes inside that great mind?

Lest you get me wrong, only fools would doubt Tendulkar's greatness. But the same fools would roam around with a superiority complex when they come across people who refuse to recognize a single grey shade in that pronounced greatness.

If anything, this eulogy deluge has cemented the notion that we are essentially, and probably incorrigibly, a nation of hyperbole and hysteria, which is ready to dump its sense of proportion at the slightest provocation.

Tendulkar once swapped a dear bat for a Mark Knoffler guitar. He has an ear for music. But I'm not sure all that is written and aired about him would come as music to those blushed ears.

(P.S. Read 7 Tendulkar Q & A here.)

167 comments:

  1. I'm glad someone wrote this post even if it was before I had a go at it. It's amazing how those millions of Tendulkar fans stand for everything the batsman has been impervious to. The guy simply loves to play cricket. In fact, he just loves to play no matter what sport it is! That is his passion and it's surprising to see people being surprised at how he keeps himself going.

    PS: Ravi "Shite" Shastri should be banned from all forms of media. The mere sound of his voice makes me want to reach for the mute button.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mahek, Tendulkar is perhaps the most private man in the dressing room and this massive public display of adulation is so much in contrast with his persona.

    On Shastri, I think you are spot on.

    ReplyDelete
  3. great form som...

    yes this 'T20' business is getting out of hand where every tom dick and harry is made to usher tape recorded versions...

    one fool tho questioned what actually 175 achieved for team india but with obvious results... :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. A fatwa-triggered punishment or a kala-pani perhaps will be less painful than to listen to this constant sugar-coated drivelling that the frenetic news channel have been doing all these days ...... well, I am happy atleast someone let the truth prevail over this hysteria .... keep walking!!!

    BTW, I hv been thinking abt ST's retirement plans ... can take a look ... :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. SP, I would cherish the friendshp of the 'fool' you mentioned about more than hobnobbing with a Shastri:)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anorak, prepare for another bout of such mass hysteria when ST retires.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Som, what do you mean by "someone like Ravi Shastri", is he an epitome of rationality, balance view, understatements or anything remotely sublime also add Sunny to that list. Its always a pleasure when the man is batting, but this over the top media explosion will put off even the most loyal fan.
    Even trash like Mumbai Mirror has no rape,slander, robbery to report today only ST &ST

    ReplyDelete
  8. Indophile, have no other way but to agree with you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. he is not responsible for others. it's a sense of an inferiority complex when they talk about single handedly winning matches. 'he achieved everything but...alas...'. a sense of romance to feel good about their self.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Kartikeya, I too agree he can't be blamed for the action of his admirers.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Som,

    as the title goes, I thought it was another one of those, sarcastically funny ones!

    but well, it was kind of touching!

    I agree, every body talking about Sachin, for all reams of pages and bytes on TV has a little OTT!

    Which is why I stuck to his impact on me, at All Padded Up!

    And that has been profound!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anorak,

    i was thinking about Sachin's retirement too, and had a premonition on bored, go check it out!

    I don't how to hyperlink that here, though!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ankit, I would love to hear more and more personal account of how ST influenced/inspired others than listen to those gibberish. And liked that sketch also:)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Your piece was enlightening, man. In fact it inspired me to write for the next couple of hours about it...it's on bored...
    It's funny how there are so many cricket writers and hardly any see a shade of gray...these flunkeys seem to lack the gray matter for it!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Rohit, welcome to Doosra. Thoroughly liked your piece.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have no idea about the hype as I live in Iglooland, but this is a well written piece. What makes great players great is that they focus on their game while everyone else dances with garlands around them. It's the price of greatness unfortunately.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well said.

    I always wondered if Indian media and so-called-experts-of-the-field would ever be able to shed their self-serving mutual patronisation, embrace objectivity and speak their mind like you do. At the very least we can try to be real and look at the other side of the coin a little more often. Well, if we did that, I guess, as people and a nation we would be way more developed that we are and than we ought to be.

    I guess posts such as this don't have a chance of making it to the conventional press. One can't appreciate Internet enough.

    Bravo!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Purna, this time we have raised the bar, or slumped to new low. The last 5 days major English dailies are carrying one-and-half full page on ST while channels have gone completely mad. It's a mad, mad world out here.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hari, welcome to Doosra. You are spot on, conventional press has place only for conventional, convenient as well, thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ami, nice piece of art work:)

    ReplyDelete
  21. The other day I was wondering how a common man would celebrate Tendulkar. We know now, and I am sure Tendulkar himself would appreciate this celebration. There is the ring of sincerity of the humble admirer in this post.

    Well written Sir!

    On a different note...in anticipation of a Sachin 100 in this current test match (I always step out on such a front foot in every test match involving Sachin), I was planning a special variety of sweet dish with an extra dollop os sugar in its syrupy composition. Thankfully, he has forced a deferrment to another day, when me might be craving for a comforting chocolate. :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Soulberry, another of my humble request would be to forward that dish with extra sugar to my address. Trust me, I'm a Bong with sweet teeth and never lacked reason for a celebration.

    ReplyDelete
  23. "No sincere effort to gauge why two decades were not enough to silence claims that he did not win enough matches while the likes of Brian Lara won series on their own."

    lol!

    tendulkar has played in more wins and in them scored more runs, with double the hundreds and with a better average than lara in matches won by his team

    in fact he scored only 1 century in a winning cause against a top 8 team after walsh and ambrose retired. 11 ended up with windies losing and 5 ended up in draws. his entire match-winning legend seems to rest on one innings (153*) during which he was dropped by healy a handful of runs away from victory. conversely sachin's burden seems to be madras 1999, all his other test innings leading to a win forgotten

    ReplyDelete
  24. Karan, welcome to Doosra.

    I'm a great admirer of Tendulkar but believe he is not the biggest match-winner even among his teammates.

    Kumble won us more match than him. And goes without saying that Dravid saved us more.

    Lara, well I haven't check all stats. But I remeber him as the Man of the Series in Australia in 2001 and in the same year, scoring 688 runs in the three-match Test series in Sri Lanka. It included three 100s and one 50. He scored a double century and a century in the first and second innings of the 3rd Test Match in SSC. Apparently, he scored 42% of the team's total runs in that series.

    ReplyDelete
  25. 'Match winning' is a circumstance. I bat at number 4/5, see what the position is and play accordingly. or i set for myself a particular role, a style of play and i stick to that irrespective of the conditions.
    india in the world cups has largely been dependent on one player.
    i don't buy the theory of match winning.
    if match winning is a theory, an instinct, a rule, then scoring 175 is an anti-rule; it doesn't fall into a requirement (a recent example).
    rahul's quality (wall like) which is praised, has led to his ouster from ODIs.
    minus a different style of cricketer like sachin and rahul may have had to play 'fast'. or take the role of sachin. hence match winning is dependent on a circumstance.

    ReplyDelete
  26. thanks for the welcome som

    lara was not man of the series in australia, he averaged 32 there

    he did score all those runs in lanka but the windies lost all 3 tests. how does that enforce any perceived status as a match-winner

    if one relies on facts and actual match details then tendulkar is more of a 'match-winner' than lara. why the opposite is held on as truth by so many, i dont know. maybe if a lie is propagated long enough it becomes the truth

    ReplyDelete
  27. Kartikeya, to a large extent you are right. But then finishing is also a quality not too many have. Then there is this issue of doing well on big occasions too.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I think Indian obsessed of records then why they dont know Tendulkar is not a true match winner. I have seen media played with records in these four or five days but no one mention in how many matches he played crucial role for winning cause.

    DP

    ReplyDelete
  29. DP, that is the popular feeling and not without reasons. BTW, welcome to Doosra.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I checked out Lara's Test stats and it's an understatement to say that it's impressive.

    It was rather harsh to say that Lara's reputation was built particularly around one knock.

    These are some of his match-winning Test knocks. The absence of his bigger knocks only underlines how difficult it must have been for the man to drag the entire team. He deserved a much better team, no doubt about that.

    Some knocks for winning cause:


    1.96 (2nd innings) against Pak at Trinidad, 1993;

    3.167 against England at Guyana 1994;

    4. 91, as opener, against India in 3rd Test in Mohali;

    5. 147 against NZ in Wellington,1995

    6. 132 against Australia in the 5th Test 1996/97

    7. 93 against England in guayana, 1998

    8. 213 (out of 431) against Australia at Jamaica '99.

    9. 153 not out, 3rd Test against Aus 1999

    10. 191 against Zimbabwe at Bulawayo 2003

    11. 130 against Pak in Barbados, 2005

    P.S. and he was indeed MoS in that Carlton series.

    ReplyDelete
  31. It sounds funny when Sachin's fans keep telling that he never plays for personal milestones and records.
    In yesterday's match against SL, Tendulkar refused Sanga's offer to call play off, just to complete an utterly pointless century.
    Tendulkar is obsessed with personal records and milestones, and he makes no bones about it.
    He is a great batsman, but it is high time his fans accepted that he gives a great deal of importance to records and milestones.

    ReplyDelete
  32. "He is a great batsman, but it is high time his fans accepted that he gives a great deal of importance to records and milestones."

    Anonymous, you hit the nail on the head.

    ReplyDelete
  33. so dravid is an irresponsible batsman for his second innings score in the last test match.
    and does style of play, intent and the sixties and seventies matter or is it just the hundreds.
    does world cup 2003 matter. does 98 matter or should he have 'made sure' that he finishes the game against Pakistan?
    are we more obsessed about records and milestones than him.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Kartikeya, it's not the score but the situation and circumstances that you walk out to bat in and lead the team to are what matters most. The number is just a number.

    And you made an important point about fans being more obsessed with records and milestones. We are essentially a nation of hero-worshipper and fancy records.

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