Sunday, 26 June 2011

Exclusive: Tendulkar is broke!

The Pranab Mukherjees and the Montek Singh Ahluwalias would look pretty silly now.

Exposing the hollowness of their GDP growth mumbo-jumbos, another Indian has just slipped under the Below Poverty Line (BPL).

Is it a Dicky Bird? Is it a plane, carrying homesick Lalit Modi? No, it’s Sachin Tendulkar!

Well, hear it here first.

Tendulkar, whose annual income was the closest statisticians got to infinity, is dead broke!

First he sells off his red Ferrari 360 Modena and then he applies for home loan to buy a 1 BHK flat outside Mumbai!

The twin developments merit close analysis and I want you follow me here closely.

Why did Tendulkar sell off his Ferrari, presented by no less than a Michael Schumacher?

Was it his legendary anticipation that warned him of the fuel price hike that was barely 48 hours away?

Was it the political analyst in him that closely monitored the West Bengal election and realised red was fast going out of vogue?

Can it be possible that he had a tiff with Schumacher – suppose Schumi calls him and mistakes his sing-song voice for that of a maid -- and a mighty annoyed Tendulkar did not want to keep any memory of him?

Or was it because he felt let down by Ferrari who did not resist DRS in F1? So what if this DRS stands for Drag Resistance System and not Decision Review System? After all, once you accept the initials, you are not far from accepting the whole thing!

Well, Doosra risked life and limbs to unearth the truth and here’s how the Little Master turned pauper almost overnight.

Tendulkar earned the stuff by sackfuls but didn't trust banks -- including the one he endorses -- and used to stash all his money in the cellar.

And he got the shock of his life when he found termites had eaten up all the notes!

And the rest, as they say, is his story.

P.S. Sources tell us the sole purpose of Tendulkar’s Wimbledon visit was to try and borrow some money from Roger Federer.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

My vote goes to West Bengal!

Som said...

Anonymous. West Bengal is just through a poll. You think it would like another?

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Som, your response to the anonymous question is far funnier than the entire main post :-)

Not that the main post isn't good. :-)

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Govind, thinking of taking a feedback from the flower gals :)

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Sidthegnomenator said...

This might explain why I am seeing pictures of Tendulkar with tennis players this week - is he hoping to get something for them on ebay?

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Fan said...

He was perhaps never too rich. Remember, he had asked for a tax waiver when he was gifted the red beauty

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Fan, I get your point even though some blame it on mental poverty. Btw, see he can't afford a coach for his son and is tutoring himself!

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Vartul Agrawal said...

this was really some fun..i enjoyed it..hope tendulkar keeps getting some more big toys as ferrari so that he gets time to play more cricket and avoids going to tennis tournaments...

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