Monday 21 June 2010

7 reasons why cricket is a better game than soccer

1. Soccer is way too abrupt. 90 minutes is what Shoaib Akhtar needs just to complete his run-up, which means his delivery would reach the batsman only in the extra-time!

2. A Warne or a Brett Lee may try their hand at designing underwear but they know where to draw the line. They would not model it themselves even for a dying grandmother, no sir. And there you have Beckham and Ronaldo unabashedly dropping fabrics and making these brief appearances;

3. Cricket’s post-match ritual doesn’t include exchange of stinking, sweaty jerseys. The first thing a footballer presumably does when he gets home is to burn it and bury the ashes in courtyard or clog the neighbour’s drain with it;

4. Cricketers may mistake the umpire for a cloth-hanger but never as a spittoon;

5. FIFA World Cup maybe a coiffeur’s delight but some of the haircuts on display not only border on sacrilege but also threaten to destroy the very social fabric of human civilization;

6. An umpire is not required to blow whistles till his lungs ache to earn his envelop;

7. Cricket coaches don’t make such a colossal ass of themselves on the sideline, jumping in ill-fitting suits like a headless chicken troubled by an ingrown nail;

(P.S Blogging would be irregular till FIFA World Cup ends. Going Port Elizabeth, hoping to watch more than one quarterfinal. Sorry folks, already oversubscribed for vuvuzelas. Will try to post something from there but don't put your money on that possibility. Be right back.)

94 comments:

namya said...

David Sheperd wouldn't be a ref even in a kid's football game..

Som said...

Namya, Shepherd would not have officiated in soccer matches in the first places because no team scores 111 goals and matches don't last 111 minutes either:)

Satrajit said...

do footballers wear abdominal guards? Just asking!!

straight point said...

i bet shepherd would have invented his ways in football too... like by counting 111 seconds... 111th pass... 111th foul... etc...

Som said...

Satrajit, no. Despite wearing boots, soccer players, by and large, don't hit below the belt, this rendering the box redundant:) Shin guard is the only protection they wear.

Som said...

Sp, hehehe, other than counting upto 111, Shep would have been required to do another 111 things and I think soccer could have cured him of that idiosyncracy.

rahul said...

Of course cricket is better than football. At least it gives option to players like Shahid Afridi to either have an apple or a ball for breakfast. I am sure all soccer players hate watermelons!!!

Som said...

Rahul, welcome to Doosra. Maybe we are just one incident away from a footballer trying to bite a slice of football.

rahul said...

I just hope that football slice tastes better than red cherry... oops white one. By the way cricketers can always prove better ambassadors for anti-AIDS campaigns... they always wear groin guard before batting!!!

Som said...

Rahul, now we need to do a proper study on the Edibility of Playing Balls before we arrive at any such conclusion on which tastes better. I propose Afridi's name for the survey.

Govind Raj said...

Som,
One most important thing you forgot...

In Football, the best of the players get numbed and humbled by 'Offside'. In Cricket, after God, Saurav Ganguly used to dwell on the 'Offside'. And just mention 'Offside' and Sehwag will lighten up the stadium!

Soccer is just too unfair!

Som said...

Govind, Ganguly would have quit cricket if there was such an off-side rule. BTW, he was a decent footballer, played for college. And I watched one charity match in which he scored, playing against a Mithun Chakraborty XI :)

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I too have heard of Dada's tryst with Soccer. It was good for Indian Cricket he chose Cricket over Soccer. Else he would have ended up with the most number of 'off-sides' in some below par matches between Mohun Bagan and East Bengal.

And those towering sixes wouldn't have gone and kissed the air-hostesses :-)

Som said...

Govind, don't take Sidhu too seriously, it may affect other things:)

Govind Raj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Hayley said...

Hi

I work for the Barmy Army and I saw this article about cricket being better than football, something that's gaining more validity as the world cup goes on...

However if you're already planning ahead to the Ashes please check out our great new competition to win an all inclusive trip for two, to the fourth and fifth tests in Melbourne and Sydney to watch England (hopefully) retain the Ashes. http://tiny.cc/ev7om

Som said...

Hayley, welcome to Doosra. Will surely check it out but don't you think booking those tickets for me would have saved you so much of trouble? ...:)

Govind Raj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Som said...

Govind, now this is unprecedented high praise and thank god I can't blush on blog. Jokes apart, thanks a lot. Only I know how much it means. And for delay in posts, blame it on things that I have to do to make both ends meet.

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Nallavan said...

If Modi starts Football IPL you will find 70 reasons why football is better than cricket.

Som said...

Nallavan, there you throw a new lease of life to Herr Modi by even hypothetically putting him in charge of football:) BTW, welcome to Doosra:)

Satrajit said...

another reason.... the kookaburra or the SG or the Duke doesn't bounce back after crossing the fence.. like the jabulani!!

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Barry said...

Maybe even extra time won't be enough for Trott to sleep walk in the crease before he faces the next delivery.

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David Sheperd wouldn't be a ref even in a kid's football game..

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